lonely, tired, sad...

Been quite some time, that i forgotten that i had a blog where i use to write or express my feeling trough this blog. Few years have past that i start to write in my blog to releasing my loneliness in here. This year has been a rough year for me. My father pass away on June 6 which was too sudden for me and my mom. Until now i accept the reality that my father is no longer with me but just doesn't feel right because i always remember my father being in the house and never leave. Sometime i do not know how to take care of my mother and myself, i still a student with no income. I kinda feel like useless can't do anything, sometime argue with my mother and i just can't control my anger and vent it out on my mother. I really hate myself for being so useless.

When i cry, i don't dare to cry in front of my mom. I always hide somewhere in the house and cry out loud but sometime i just want my bestfriend to hear me out or stay by my side to listen to what i want to say. For my friend that doesn't even call or message me to ask 'how are you?' and i wonder do i have any friend. I really feel so tired and have a friend to speak to but it seem so hard to have that wish come true.

My Birthday is Getting Near~~Hehe

All i hope for my birthday is just a simple celebration with my friends and family....And some wishes from my friends and that will give me a satisfying Birthday~~

Mother's Day

Although at Mother's day should be a happy event for everyone.....but for me is quite horrible day
This morning i wish my mother "Happy Mother's day" and after that at afternoon we had an argue....
that argument is so damn stupid.....i don't understand what my mom is trying to tell me then i try to explain to her how to talk correctly about it.....and it became an argue....STUPID!!!
The worst mother's day ever....!!!!!